This World is a Simulation pt. 1

October of 2023, I got injured, but didn't really think much of it. I never got hurt, and never really found myself in a situation I couldn't just naturally heal from, so it never phased me to think twice about what was going on my with leg.

It wasn't any particular impact or event that caused me to have pain, but it gradually increased with time. Some days were good, some days weren't the best, but all and all, probably a 2 out of 10 on a pain scale.

Eventually I wasn't able to do box jumps too comfortably, or sprint to the bases in my rec kickball league at full speed. I felt kinda off, and my gym sessions were a constant bummer because I felt like I wasn't okay.

Time kept passing, and again, some days were good, and some days were bad.

After a few months, I decided to go to a physical therapist to help assess what was going on. The pain was in my left knee. I could lunge, I could hop, and do advanced functional movements. I passed all exams that would let me know if I had torn something. All was well, and I was cleared. My therapist said I could get an MRI if I wanted, but I decided why bother if I was okay?

A few more weeks go by, and still, I'm bummed out. I'm constantly paying attention to my knee, assuming there's a problem.

On top of this, I had digestive problems for a long stint of time. It was pretty infuriating, since for about 7 years of my life I had really bad "allergies and digestive problems" that caused significant pain in my lower back and abdomen. A year before this injury I thought I cured myself from them , but somehow the same exact digestive issues came back, on top of having a bum knee. This point in time honestly kinda sucked. But both of these pains, in my opinion were a direct result of my negative thoughts and emotions, nothing more, and nothing less. That is why, I believe we live in a simulation.

I came across a guy called the ice man online. For those of you who don't know, he does a lot of breath work exercises and talks about the importance and healing properties of cold exposure. I read an article where he was jogging in the snow barefoot, twisted his ankle, and somehow miraculously healed it while continuing to jog but meditating on the fact that it was healed. I think he had wires attached to him as he was completing his jog, and scientists were observing his body and trying to see how the cold didn't effect him, and how he could possibly heal his ankle.

I kinda was excited, thinking maybe I could use this power and discipline of my mind to heal my body as I was exercising. So, a few days later I went to the gym. I hadn't trained legs in a year due to the pain, but figured if he could heal himself, so can I. I started using kettlebells, and doing one legged deadlifts with light weights.

Immediately I heard crunching in my knees, but because I was so saturated in the belief that it was my body healing, I genuinely felt nothing and assumed my knee was getting better as I visualized myself performing healthfully.

Fast forward a few days, my leg isn't feeling to hot. It's stinging a bit now, and now I can't run at all or there will be pain. I was confused on what happened, I thought if I just believed like the Ice Man did my body would be doing better? Why isn't it working?

At that point in time, I knew of Neville Goddard's books, but hardly understood them to the capacity that I do now. I more so listened to some bullshit manifestation people on youtube who claimed they knew how the universe operated. To an extent I had the visualization part down of my body being healed, but I genuinely didn't have faith or knowingness in me to make the feeling of it believable. However, I did have some part of my emotions involved, because the crunching of my cartilage didn't hurt a bit. I never felt taring or anything significant, it just felt sore.

Eventually I went to get an MRI. Mind you, this entire time this whole thing went down ( so, roughly 8 months ) I had been focusing NEGATIVELY on my knee, hating my knee and feeling like I was hurt. Anyone who knows Neville Goddard's teachings knows, you must visualize, FEEL/ KNOW and hold onto that belief, and it will become your christ or manifestation or reality.

Well, what the f*ck was I doing for 8 months straight? Feeling like crap, visualizing the worst, and holding onto that belief more than anything positive.

I got the MRI results back through email, and after a few hours, I received a voice mail from the specialist I had originally seen who ordered the scan to be done. She had said I had a tare in my medial meniscus and that I should also get a surgeons opinion to take a look at my scans. She also requested I go see her one more time before seeing the surgeon, considering she says I needed surgery and it would be best to have her explain what she found.

When I listened to this voicemail, I was also at my friends wedding. I could walk decently getting into the venue, but after I heard the news, I was straight up limping, terrified to make my knee worse. I cried on the balcony, staring at the ocean view. I sat there for maybe 40 minutes. I thought I knew so much about life, about energy, about reality...how could something like this happen to me?

I'm going to pause the story here. Nothing had happened to me, just my thoughts about my reality, I got exactly what I felt and thought about. I was profusely thinking negatively for months on end about myself. My injured leg, my digestive problems, not to mention weight gain. I felt pathetic and miserable. I was putting out into the world that I was "injured" so I got a confirmation from my specialist whom I trusted, which would further install the belief of being injured. I literally asked the universe through energy to give me more of what I was putting out in energy, it is no respecter of persons, that is how the world works.

What you focus on gives it life. What you feel gives it life. If I was calm and brave enough to change my perspective on the situation, I do not believe my doctor would have said something was torn ( which, is what will happen further in this story ). I chose to believe what my doctor had told me, and that was what my reality became. So, I limped for the rest of the night, when an hour before the call, I could walk decently.

Now, story time continues.

So, being scared, I made a follow up call and a day after seeing her, I was going to see my surgeon.

Being somewhat aware of visualization, I was able to pull myself together before going into the office of the specialist who left the voicemail. I sat in my car and visualized something to my advantage.

Here's where it gets cool. I sat in my car, visualizing my specialist smiling, and giving me the best news. It's the best news ever, and I don't have to worry about a thing when I leave. I sit there for a minute, feeling it. Not trying too hard, just unsure of what I'm doing. Despite this, I don't judge it my unsureness. I just try it, and have enough faith to believe in something other than what my eyes see.

I walk in, and sit in the waiting room. I eventually get called in, and wait for the doctor to come. I chill out, feeling and knowing I get incredible news. The doctor comes in, and reevaluates my scan.

She straight up tells me, "It's a minor tare, it will heal on its own."

Excuse me? On the voicemail, you told me I needed surgery. What do you mean I'm good?

She points to different parts of the scan, saying I have fluid in one area, and a minor tare on the other side, but it would easily heal and is nothing to worry about. She also said she doesn't know why I came in for a follow up appointment, considering my scan was fine.

I was more so shocked then anything, and couldn't figure out what was happening. This is one of my first real experiences with glitches in the simulation.

Dumbfounded, she prescribed me pain relieving meds, and let me go about my way. She said that the meds would take down the inflammation, and I'd be perfectly healed in 2 weeks.

As I was driving home, you'd think I'd be happy, but I was so terribly confused. I thought the doctor was lazy, or incompetent. How the hell can you tell me I need surgery, then tell me I'm good?

I was blurred between the lines of "am I being medically mistreated, or did I just change my reality?"

I had been in pain and mentally miserable for enough time that it unfortunately became more of my dominant reality in my situation. Even though she had said I was fine, I still went to the surgeons appointment because I was scared.

The night before I saw my surgeon I cried outside in my backyard, talking to the stars asking for help. I had been following the manifestation community for a few years now, on and off, exploring tarot, astrology, numerology and the like. For me to now understand none of those things mattered, and the only thing that creates reality is "I AM" or, my thoughts and feelings about life, really uprooted my world. Even though "I AM" is the only truth there is, at that time, I didn't have enough belief or experience in life to genuinely understand that.

I was too overwhelmed with the noise of what happened that day that I felt safe going back to assuming I was hurt, and needed surgery. I didn't have enough faith to remove the pain and embody the energy of a woman with a healthy left knee.

The next morning I go to my surgeon, and prior to going in the office I practiced the same technique. I sat in my car, visualizing my surgeon giving me the best news possible. It is the best situation, and I am very lucky, and very grateful that it won't be a biggie.

I go into the office, and sure enough the surgeon tells me I tore my meniscus off the bone, and only about 15% is hanging on. I need surgery to suture it back on, and the recovery will take about 5 months.

Let's pause for a second here.

SO, you're telling me... I went from my specialist saying it could heal on it's own, to my surgeon now telling me my meniscus is nearly off the bone. I'm not a doctor, but shouldn't your colleague give a diagnosis that isn't the polar opposite of what you're telling me? Maybe, something similar, if not the same, because you do go to school for nearly a decade for stuff like this? Just a thought.

However, the surgeon did tell me this was a great injury to have, if I was to have one. With my injury, they suture the meniscus back onto the bone, screwing it in essentially. The wire attached to the screw then gets held in place by the bone it gets drilled into. He has said other injuries have the cartilage damaged, needing to be completely removed, and then in the future cause the patient to have arthritis. Looking back at this, I don't think the severity of the injury would have mattered technically. Knowing what I do now, if I tell my body to heal, and believe it, it will.

At the time I wasn't sure what to think when I got the news. I cried a bit in the office, just scared of the situation. But, understand that this happened BECAUSE I energetically favored and felt comfort in the idea of getting surgery. Not because one doctor was right and one surgeon was wrong. What I was thinking and feeling had literally caused my body to create this scenario. I just had more faith in physically repairing it than I did mentally repairing it. ( Just like the iceman did when he was jogging in the snow ). Because I wasn't fully capable of understanding what I was doing to create the world in front of me.

Fast forward, I schedule an appointment for my surgey. Normally these things can take weeks, if not months to get a slot with the preferred surgeon in practice. I was told to visit the surgical coordinator on the floor below, and see what I could do. She normally was hard to find, the surgeon said, because she would tend to float around the building as she was the only coordinator. He said it might be best to call, but I went to the floor instead.

When I got there I asked a member of the staff where she was, " ironically" enough, she was right behind me with a warm, friendly smile on her face. She asked me what I needed, and I said to schedule an appointment. We walked over to her desk, and she started giving what availability she had. She asked if I had any summer plans, and I said a family vacation in a few weeks. " Surprisingly" there was an open slot, 1 and a half weeks in the future from that very day I was in her office. The coordinator smiled and said she'd think this would be the best bet to get my leg taken care of so I would be healed enough to walk comfortably during my vacation ( with crutches of course ).

The surgery went fine, and I was fine afterwards. No pain during the surgery, after the surgery, or after the pain killing meds were out of my body. Someone told me the pain is excruciating when the meds ware off. Honestly, I didn't much that was worth mentioning here, mostly because I didn't believe in having pain there because my visualization was that everything healed perfectly, so it didn't manifest into my experience. The whole "pain" of it all was a 2.5 at best on a scale from 1 to 10, 1 being nothing to 10 being horrific. Crutches for 3 months. Weight baring all my weight on 1 leg for 6 weeks. Then, progressively adding 25% body weight to the surgery leg every week until I can fully walk.

If anyone is interested, I'm going to write about my recovery process in another post. Even though it's incredibly important to have a controlled state of mind and tamed emotions during recovery, it's equally important to use science as well in regards to your health. We can't understand this life without opposites. If we didn't have hot, we couldn't understand what cold is. Cold would just be cold, and that would feel neutral which isn't the reality of cold on the 3D plane. Cold feels chilly and hot feels toasty. How do I know? Because I have one to compare the other to.

The same goes for spirituality, and science. They lend a hand to one another and should be used in tandem. That's the purpose of the yin and the yang. It's the bringing together of opposities to create harmony. If you want harmony in your body, science must also be used on top of spirituality ( and by science, I mean the mechanics of exercise, eating properly, stretching, cold/heat therapy, etc.)

As a sneak peek to my recovery, I'm doing perfectly fine. As for the digestion? I figured it out again with time. That's for another blog post. For anyone who comes across this, I really hope you can fine sincere peace in my words and know that your injuries do not define you and certainly do not need to effect your future. The reason why I'm writing this is because I want to help people understand what reality really is, and how you absolutely have a say as to what happens to you.

Your body is an incredible machine made by a divine entity far beyond the capacity for the human brain to understand. Why the hell would you use your mind to limit yourself to some fear your have or some doctor's opinions? Don't be like the old version of me. I know I said use science to your advantage, BUT remember how I changed the opinion of my first specialist? If I wasn't so scared, I bet I would had trusted her positive news and got better without surgery. But, I didn't know then what I know now.

I'm not a medical professional, what I share is only my experience. However, I am a self proclaimed specialist in suffering in the human mind, and I think I have enough experience to give my two cents. We all are. If anything, I recommend reading Neville Goddard, Joe Dispenza, Bruce Lipton, Greg Braden, Karl Young and for the love of god listen to Bill Donahue on youtube ( he talks about how the bible and all religious texts are all books about psychology, nothing more and nothing less ). These minds have completely changed the way I view the world, and live my life. I hope they positively effect yours as well. Stay healthy, and take care ❤️